The latest battle in the American/UK culture war has saw TikTok turned into a warzone - as the yanks have attacked something near and dear to us Scots - our fine culinary diaspora, our Chinese takeaways.
First of all, how dare they? Second of all, why is this coming up now? American TikTok seems to be taking issue that the takeaways are called ‘Chinese’ despite very clearly being something very different from traditional Chinese cuisine.
Of course we realise that our Chinese takeaways aren’t the kind of food served in China. No Scot expects to turn up in Beijing to be greeted by a delegation holding a platter of Salt & Chilli Munchie Boxes and Chicken Fried Rice with Gravy.
Regardless, Americans have taken to TikTok to condemn the Chinese takeaways and the palate of Britons. No doubt they first happened upon the Chinese takeaway dishes on TikTok itself.
It’s an unspoken Scots tradition to show off your Chinese takeaway on social media on a rough Sunday (often the only thing seperating the curry-laden dish from the bed covers being a thin layer of a takeaway box) - making you the envy of all your likewise hungover friends.
In the spirit of the all-in-good-fun takeaway battle TikTok is currently seeing, we thought we would make this list of Chinese takeaway menu items in and around Glasgow that would send American TikTok into a spin.
1. Sweet and Sour Chow Mein
Sweet and sour chow mein would blow the head right off American TikTok - can we blame them though? How can we expect such a young country on such a new app to understand the refined palates of us Scots? You can grab any of these dishes from the New Corner Chinese restaurant in Glasgow.
2. Giant Chicken Ball
The Giant Chicken Ball at New Fun Heng in Kilmarnock would send American TikTok into a spiral - but us Scots probably couldn’t think of anything nice than a massive fried ball filled with rice, chicken, and curry sauce.
3. An entire Chinese takeaway in a wrap
Not traditionally offered by Chinese takeaways around Glasgow - this dish was created by the culinary mastermind that is the Wrap God on TikTok, known to friends as Josh Durnion from Motherwell. The mad gastro-scientist fit fried rice, salt & chilli chips, and spring rolls, topped up with a healthy dollop of curry sauce. (Pic: Wrap God/TikTok)
4. Salt & Chilli Munchie Box
The salt and chilli munchie box is a delicacy that American TikTok could never understand - what they don’t seem to take in is that such a dish is only to be taken on at the end of a very drunken night or midway through a very hungover afternoon. You can nab this particular munchie box at Sky Dragon in Drumchapel.